I didn't use any oxy yesterday! I took 1mg of suboxone (1/8 of a pill) and that was all. I just had to address one comment on this topic- "For it [suboxone] to work, you must be under a doctor's care." Wait, what? So the active properties of the drug just shut themselves off if they aren't prescribed to me? If only oxy worked that way, then I wouldn't get high or be addicted. Suboxone binds to your opiate receptors to ease withdrawal symptoms (whether it's prescribed or not) and if used sparingly in decreasing doses over a week or so can create a sort of landing pad when jumping off "real" opiates. Who needs a $500 doctor? I have the internet.
Yesterday I actually had a great day. At 830am we went over to that girl's house- yes, the girl who gets me the oxy. She's not a dealer, just a friend with the same habit who often buys for me while buying for herself. She had invited R and I over because she had her kid! They played at her house until 1130, then we went to a playground and ate while playing- it was freezing. The topic of oxy came up between the girl and I (I need to give her a name in here, so I'm gonna call her Jean which is nowhere near her real name), but she didn't have any money and I'm trying not to buy so talk about it is all we did. We smoked cigarettes and played with the kids. At 2pm, I went home so R and I could nap. We woke up at 5pm and played some more around the house since by then it was too cold to really go anywhere. We played "ball" with a plastic plum, it was sort of an amalgamation of every sport R has ever heard of because there was a bat involved, and kicking the ball into the net, and tackling, and "hike!" It was hilarious. Not being on oxy, even just 1 day, I felt so energetic and more able to play with her. God I love that kid.
Well, today is valentine's day, I already have a stupid text message from my "admirer" (who of course knows nothing of my habit). He wants to take me out tonight and do all the stupid cliche valentine's day crap with the red roses and the horrendously expensive prix-fixe menus and the champagne. Boring. We should go ride go-karts or something if he wants a date. None of this sentimental lovey-dovey v-day garbage. Really if he likes me, he should know me better than that.
best of luck with your detox. stay positive.
ReplyDeletedaisy.
wouldn't you want your daughter to play with someone's kid whose mom wasn't also into oxy ? I mean, would you leave her over there for a playdate and let that mom watch her when you aren't there ? Just wondering.....thinking this forward a bit, if the girls stay friends as they get older
ReplyDeletesuboxone has buprenorphone/naloxone what was the 1mg? it's the bupe that counts, 1mg bupe is very low and if that's holding you all day you're doing so well you can be off this shit in a week no trouble
ReplyDeleteour stuff is subutex ~ buprenorphine only because they're less patronizing over here (you know why the naloxone is there? to MAKE YOU SUFFER if you dare inject. what fucking difference does it make to anyone whether you inject the shit? it makes no difference to you with neat bupe as that does fuck all, trust me so naloxone or not you're wasting time and veins... snorting might bring on the same withdrawal shit naloxone will do for you so be careful
1mg buprenorphine = fantastic
I would never leave R alone with "Jean". Not for more than just while I went to the bathroom or ran to grab a diaper out of another room. But I have no problem with these kids being friends, they love each other so much and always have fun. I've watched both of them though, while Jean wasn't really in any shape to. It's worth it, just to watch them play and listen to them have little 2-year-old conversations.
ReplyDelete@Gledwood- I always heard "more is less" with the suboxone so I figured 1mg would work. It makes me feel GREAT! I really want a script for like a week's worth of this stuff, that would help tons.
-SJ
Also, the suboxone are in "sublingual strips" which dissolve under your tongue. The one I have is 8mg bupe and 2mg naloxone and I cut it into 8 small pieces of approximately the same size. Therefore, 1mg. And it does better than keep me straight, it makes me feel GOOD and energetic and not noddy or dragging my feet or anything.
ReplyDelete