Well, I made it just a bit over 48hrs this time. I broke pretty much all my detox guidelines after finding out my "date" for the night had to work instead. I already had a sitter that night for after she was asleep, so I said screw it, ran to the ATM, called Jean to pick me up, and smoked 4 blues pretty much back-to-back (sure I shared a little, but she shared hers with me as well. I am completely trashed right now and can barely see straight, but I'm about to go to bed so I guess I'll just sleep it off.
Two days- damn. I'm gonna try this differently- I might have to actually clip my ATM card in half and be completely and utterly broke for at least a week. If that doesn't work, I might have to tell my dad and have him help me by holding my debit card and using it to buy diapers, groceries, cigs, etc. As much as I hate the thought of blowing my cover to anyone, especially those in my immediate family, my dad is not the type to lose his lunch over big problems. He'd help me, and he wouldn't even tell my mom (who is a radical Christian Republican with a penchant for the dramatic). Might end up being my best option. I don't even want to be this high right now. I just didn't want to save any for the next day, I wanted tomorrow to be day 1 all over again.
Bye for now, I wanna post this before midnight and the day changes over
Until you get help, you'll think you are living the movie "Groundhog Day".
ReplyDeleteget help from others, period....you CAN NOT do t his alone and succeed,...not even close. Good luck.
ReplyDeletecareful about telling family
ReplyDeleteREALLY CAREFUL
leave that as an utter last resort
there's a chance if they know this they won't want to give you money ever again so caution is required
i disagree with the above; there's a chance you can do it alone; it's the first time and if one suboxone 4/1 is holding you you're doing pretty good already
i went and used heroin for the first time in weeks. change the word to oxy and you'll what happens to me
http://gledwood2.blogspot.com/2011/02/heroin-in-house.html
it's not druggie porn it's just me falling asleep at the keyboard; most of the nonsense I left in but the worst just had to go there was literally thousands of sssssssssssss ddddddddddddd and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
so you see what i mean now about heroin fucking me up. this is heroin that's done what i paid for
most of the time my tolerance is way too high even to do that
come on by and feel free to comment, you're too shy for your own good, you
it's never too late to do yourself a favour, seems to me you have perfect timing ie the sooner the better!
ReplyDeletebest of luck ;-)