So, my last post sounded mean. My bad. I understand that no one was speaking out of malice, just a wee bit of ignorance. What you thought was a half-hearted attempt at quitting all drugs is actually a 100% attempt at tapering off opiates. I understand how that could be confusing to those entrenched in the 12 step culture, where no drugs = good and any drugs = bad. I drink herbal tea to soothe my stomach and calm me down too (chamomile, ginger, etc). I also enjoy spicy foods for the rush (capcasin is a natural stimulant) and drink coffee and soda. MIND ALTERING DRUGS!!!! But seriously, just because people have an addiction problem in common doesn't mean they have EVERYTHING in common. That is why the one-size-fits-all NA approach simply doesn't work for everyone. No question it works for many. I don't like the intolerant exclusivity. And I really hate that c word.
And yes, my parents know about the weed. They don't care as long as I don't smoke inside or in front of them or R (which I don't). They see my actions rather than seeing my situation in black-and-white terms. Good thing they aren't 12 steppers or I might really be in trouble!
too bad you won't get real about your situation, which is why you won't be free of trouble. You're exhibiting very very typical addict thinking,....you should do "this drug" as long as you don't do "that drug". It doesn't matter at all whether or not your parents approve or know about it. Notice that they're not aware that you're an addict, due to your hiding of it. Some people can drink a drink with alcohol in it, just like some people can smoke a little weed from time to time and not have their lives unravel. For addicts, it doesn't end up working out. I know you think you must need a different plan since you're unique amongst addicts, but that's not the case. That's a very typical thinking pattern of addicts that don't want to surrender using drugs. The question then becomes, why not ? What's the purpose that you need to use a drug ?
ReplyDeleteI wish you well,..but you'll find out in time that using drugs won't work out for you. That's just how it is for addicts. And why are you even going to NA if you don't buy into their program ?
I hope you figure this all out and can feel good and live your life without drugs. We all deserve that,...a healthy life without a need for drugs to alter it.
I go to NA. I take what I like, and leave the rest as was suggested to me. I'm looking for help, but to me looking for help doesn't mean blindly obey the most popular option. Hell, if I did that I'd be listening to the worst music ever.
ReplyDeleteYou are never going to get off drugs with this attitude. You are waisting precious time. You need to get real about recovery. It's not going to work like this. Mark my words. Half hearted attempts will always lead to failure.
ReplyDeleteI don't do the whole NA thing or believe everything is black and white, but I do know you will never be a better person or even a decent mother if you choose to stay addicted to pot because you think it's not a bad as oxy. Do you really think as you get older your daughter won't know? And how pathetic is it for a 30 something mother to leave mommy and daddys house to go to a parking lot to smoke pot??!!
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